Design Chat: Fallout 3 and Fallout: New Vegas

And now for something completely different!

Here is the The Little Gaming Blog's first design-focused post (hopefully it's the first of many).  For my initial foray into design discussions, I decided to start out with two games that have provided me with hours upon hours of entertainment:  Fallout 3, and Fallout: New Vegas.  I'm going to cover them as one collective game because: both are run on the same engine, and both are very similar outside of their respective storylines (and the few changes/additions that came with New Vegas).  Without further ado, let's get started.

VATS:  The VATS system (Vault-Tec Assisted Targeting System, for all the non-nerds out there) allows the player to momentarily pause gameplay to aim at specific parts of a target's body with whatever weapon is in hand.  Once the shots are fired, the player watches the action unfold at almost bullet-time speed (that's "slow motion," for those of you that don't know).  This typically ends in more accurate attacks and the occasional glorious dismemberment. 
Why this was added to the game:  You might not know this, but shooter fans and RPG fans do not always overlap.  You're not going to find a lot of hardcore Counter Strike players lining up to play Skyrim, just like you're not going to find a bunch of dudes dressed up as Cloud Strife playing Modern Warfare 3 at MLG.  Understanding this is the key to understanding why VATS was added to the game: it keeps the game from feeling like a pure shooter.  Sure, there are other reasons for it being there, but without VATS, the Fallout games would look more like Half-Life than Fallout.  Aside from that, the devs also ensured the use of VATS by attaching perks and abilities to it, as well as adding additional functionality as a reward for using the system.  Giving players a reason to use a beneficial (but largely optional) system is always a sign of good design.

  Why go for the 8-ball in the corner pocket
  when you can go for a .38 in the eye socket?

Fast Travel:  Fallout's fast travel system allows the player to instantly travel to a location already discovered on the map, as long as the player is not in combat or carrying too much weight.
Why this was added to the game:  While the designers want the players to see the massive world they've created, there's no need for players to travel through the same empty areas for 30 minutes every time they want to visit Megaton.  Visiting each area once was enough for the developers to allow you to teleport there afterwards.  There's also the possibility that this was added by request of the QA team, after they were exhausted from repeatedly walking across the vast, mostly barren landscape.  In contrast, pay-to-play MMOs do not offer this type of fast travel because they want you to keep playing the MMO as much as possible.  Since players feel the need to play MORE when they are paying for their time, MMOs can get away with this.  Console games are generally expected to offer shortcut systems to cut down on monotonous gameplay, because players are NOT paying for their time.  Therefore, the fast travel system is not necessarily good design as much as it's expected design.  Regardless, it's still a nice addition to the game. 

Companions:  I'm going to assume that everyone reading this post has at least a little familiarity with the games in question.  However, if you're not very knowledgeable about the titles, just know that you can recruit companions during your playthrough.  These companions follow you around, fight with you, and carry items. 
Why this was added to the game: It gets lonely in the desert!  No, seriously, that's one of the main reasons as to why they were added, outside of their attachment to the alignment system.  It's much more comforting to have a companion on your journey, even if it's a giant, yellow, muscle-bound mutant with a penchant for murder (and this is one of the "good" alignment characters, go figure).  The designers also needed to find a few more things to link to the game's alignment system, so that it had value (something that Fable has never seemed to understand).  This comes in the form of alignment-specific buddies that will turn you down if you're not their preferred flavor of evil or wholesome.  The companions have their own set of glitches and problems (especially in New Vegas), but they're still a welcome addition to the game - when they're not running into a group of 20 enemies and getting themselves vaporized or shot to smithereens in the process.  As a parting gift, your "friend" will also turn the attention of every angry thing within a 5 mile radius onto you, usually guaranteeing you'll be meeting your wasteland companion at the pearly gates in short order.

This is Lily, a Fallout: New Vegas companion. 
She says that she's stealthy.  I'll just take her word for it.

Quests:  The quests in the Fallout games do an excellent job of giving you extra incentives to explore a large portion of the wasteland around you.  The designers managed to make the quests feel pretty different from one another, even if you're repeating similar actions.  The key to this is keeping the motivations fresh while throwing in a variety of characters and activities to keep the player from thinking "Oh great, another fetch quest." Oftentimes the player will also be rewarded with a variety of items upon embarking on and finishing quests, making the whole ordeal more than worth their time.  Quests that don't feel repetitive and monotonous for anyone but the most jaded of all gamers?  Good design.

Combat:  The sound and visual effects combine to give the combat system an almost-tangible "substance."  You get a nice 'crunch' when connecting with a melee weapon, and the big fleshy explosions resulting from gunfire definitely feel satisfying when they happen (not in the psychopathic sense, but in the sense that they keep the combat from being mundane).  While it can get a bit gory, it's more on the outrageous side of the gore spectrum (think Kill Bill or almost any anime, where blood/flesh sprays everywhere for no reason), which keeps it from being gross to all but the most squeamish of people.  This 'crunchy combat' is an example of good design, because it keeps repetitive actions from feeling like a chore. Yes, you're still doing the same basic actions over and over, but if it doesn't feel like you're toiling through tedium, then the developers have done something right.

This is not an example of combat. 
This is what happens when a Super Mutant divides by zero.

Customization:  This is a focal point of the Fallout games.  Everything about your character is almost entirely customizable, down to the way they look.  You pick your core traits, stats, perks, and even your hairstyle.  They took this one step further in New Vegas by allowing you to customize your weapons with a variety of add-ons as well.  This goes without saying, but everyone loves customization in their games.  Customization is the foundation upon which the Call of Duty franchise built their recent empire, and it is the very reason that we see RPG elements popping up in nearly every single genre nowadays.  The idea of RPGs is to play a role, and what better way to play a role than determining that role yourself and creating your character in such as a way as to best accomplish the goals of his/her role?  This is what made the original Dungeons and Dragons such a draw, before it became a punchline for frat boys.  However, RPGs have spoiled us over the years, so a good customization system also falls under the umbrella of "expected design."

"Well this is cool and all, but now it's too big to keep in the waist of my sweatpants."
- Plaxico Burress

World:  The worlds in the Fallout games do a solid job of rewarding exploration.  While the landscape is always expansive and full of things that want to kill you, you know that the random gas station on the horizon will probably have something cool in it, because it's so far off the beaten path.  While the game's quests show you most of the important places on the map, it's nice that you can wander off on your own and still find awesome things here and there.  There are also tons of little Easter Eggs to be found (such as the alien weaponry in Fallout 3), most of which also come with awesome items. If your friends are casually talking about a Fallout game, it's always fun when you can tell them about something that none of them have heard of, simply because you happened across an event in some random corner of the map.

Another thing that showcases good design is the world's environmental storytelling.  If none of you know what environmental storytelling is, go ahead and look it up, I'll wait.  Are you back yet?  Good, because I'm going to tell you what it is either way.  You know when you get a new game and you rifle through the intro sequence so you can get right to the gameplay?  Environmental storytelling is what allows you to do that and still have a good sense of what is going on in the world.  The D.C. ruins in Fallout 3 are a good example of this.  As soon as you see those landscapes, you have an excellent idea of what's going on and/or what happened.  This is especially effective with easily recognizable landmarks (such as the Washington Monument and the Capitol Building).  When a structure commonly seen in postcards is barely standing, you know some serious stuff went down.

Contrary to what you might believe, this is D.C. before the nuclear apocalypse.

Fallout 3 Subway Labyrinth:  This is probably one of the few examples of bad design that the games have to offer.  I personally believe that this was mostly the unintentional result of recycling graphics, but the subways in Fallout 3 were the bane of many gamers.  While some people had no problem with these underground mazes (and by some people, I mean myself), the vast majority of people that I've spoken with have cited the subway system as the most frustrating thing in the game.  While it did not pose as big of a problem for yours truly, there were times when even I was lost in depths of post apocalyptic D.C.  The main reason for this, as mentioned before, is that the developers recycled many of the subway pathways.  What does this result in?  Every single subway looks nearly identical, right down to the enemies found within (almost exclusively Ghouls).  Navigating the subways was also required in order to progress deep into the D.C. ruins.  In most cases, you could follow compass directions to find the exit you need, but this was not always the case.  There were times when the recycled tunnels would lead you somewhere that was not only different from your intended destination, but also extremely dangerous.  You would think that the game's "recommended path" feature on the Pip-boy map would help with this problem, but it doesn't.  There were times when the path would clearly dictate where you needed to go, but there were also other times when the game wouldn't show you any path at all.  The game's main quests usually came with a route on the map, but if you're doing anything else (or exploring on your own), then good luck to you - your Pip-boy will just give you the proverbial finger and call it a day.  Is this bad design?  Yes it certainly is, but it was purely accidental (to be fair, 99% of bad design is accidental).  Things like this normally get cleaned up during the QA process, but something tells me that either the QA testers memorized the subways long before this became an issue, or the developers simply let this go in order to make deadlines.  I'm guessing the latter.

 

Interactions With Environment/Characters:  The two games do a nice job of ensuring that most of your encounters will be full of personality and intrigue.  Very rarely do you find a boring character in either game.  You can guarantee that if they don't have something interesting to say, they're probably either going to kill you or be killed in a few moments.  In the rare event that someone is a generic shell of a meaningless character and they're not blown up on the spot, they will probably sell you items.  I can't tell you how many unique encounters I've had during my playthroughs, because whenever I would boot up the game it seemed like even more random events would occur while I was meandering about.  A random person ran at me while screaming that I needed to "disarm the bomb" just seconds before exploding in my face (taking out a chunk of my health and nearly killing my dog in the process).  This was not a character I had ever encountered, and I had little to no idea where they came from, why they were running around outside, or who armed them with explosives - and it was completely awesome.  When you're wandering around a world that genuinely feels "alive," that's yet another sign of solid design.

Closing Thoughts:

I felt like this was a good exercise in deconstructing a few aspects of the two games.  Admittedly, I could have gone deeper, but I can always do that in future articles.  With regard to the games, both are examples of conventional RPG design with some awesomely innovative extras thrown in.  As I write more of these, the line between convention and innovation becomes much easier to see, and that's when things get fun.  Until next time, happy reading!

Pach's Real Talk: Super Street Fighter 4 Arcade Edition

Greetings gamers! Y'know I think it's time we had ourselves a little talk. This is just between you and I, but I don't think you've been taking care of yourself the way that you should be. I thought someone should tell you. Lately it seems as if your standards have fallen. Your dreams have all but faded away, and the light seems to have left your once sharp and hopeful eyes. That whore you've been seeing... Capcom I think her name is... she's sucking the life out of you, duder. This is just from one concerned friend to another but... you've been playing Super Street Fighter 4 haven't you?

Real Talk.

It's going to be important to note first off... that I don't DISLIKE SSF4. I just feel like we deserved better. We'll be looking into the pros and cons of this game by (and I hate doing it this way, but you can't make an omelet...) comparing it in many ways to the fighters that it competes with on a national and international level present day. In general this will cover the SF4 series in its entirety since pretty much every game has been a rebalance/character expansion of the previous. This will also assume basic knowledge of a few fighting game terms (so I apologize in advance if YOU'RE A SCRUB). It's going to take a while, and we'll try to stay constructive... but... well we'll see.

This particular post hits very, very close to home for me (as those of you who have actually taken the time to check out my avatar can see). I have been there since street fighter 2, street fighter 2:turbo, alpha, 3rd strike, 4th strike, and "holy crap another one really?": extreme edition. And you know what? The more that I thought about it... the more I realized how much they all truly fell short. Now hang on, before we all jump down ol' Pach's throat we need to take a darn good look at our childhoods here. This is one of those things where we didn't quite realize we'd been eating horse meat until we had a steak. We loved it at the time because "Hey, we've got meat! We can share with our friends! Look at the sweet fireball my meat just shot at yours!" But now I'd like to think we hold ourselves to some higher standards. Just because street fighter 2 touched you as a child doesn't mean you have to go around stripping for extra cash and giving handy's in the alley for XBLA points! Damn it, you're better than that! HAVE SOME SELF RESPECT!

First off, lets clear up two common myths that the Capcom matrix has programmed into your brain:

1.) SF4 has made fighting games approachable to newer players, which has been a huge part of its mass appeal.

This is complete crap. Fighting games by their very nature have an "Easy to learn, hard to master" philosophy. Anybody who says that SF4 (specifically) introduces new players into the genre has spent their entire childhood getting stomped on by people who have been playing fighting games longer than them. Think about this: nobody complains about getting stomped on by the CPU, they complain about getting stomped on by their friends and peers... meaning that if you play as much as your friends and peers, you can compete to a certain degree. Don't you dare try to tell me that this game is simple and that makes it easier. It's simple minded... but it's not simple to the point that an idiot could succeed regardless of skill, which is the same friggen style as every other hardcore fighter.

SF4 has, beyond anything else (and we'll talk about this more later), the best TIMING of any fighting game to date. Players hadn't had a massive fighter release in quite a while other than expansions on Guilty Gear, KoF, Tekken, and Marvel. SF4 got in on the ground floor back in 2008 right around the time people were done jerking off to 3rd strike and wanted something new all around.

2.) SF4 revitalized the fighting game community and made the genre into a national and international e-sport.

Self-entitled freaks like you and I have been holding tournaments, staying up late practicing combos, arguing tiers, and neglecting relationship duties for years... there is no use pretending that these games weren't popular with us before now. The main reason for the fighting game community explosion over the past 3 years can be summed up with 4 words. The God-Damned Internet. Streaming, youtube videos, and incorporation of netplay with our fighting games simply meant we no longer needed to have friends to get the full enjoyment out of our addiction (which...admittedly is a big deal for some of us).

Now, I know what you're thinking: STREET FIGHTAH DID THAT FIRST BRO! Well... sort of. But that's like saying if Thomas Edison hadn't invented the light bulb we would all be living by candlelight at the moment. With online play in almost every other multiplayer gaming genre, it was an advancement that was going to happen one way or another. Don't give credit where credit isn't due.

Now ONTO THE BREAKDOWN!

Lets hit the pros first:

1.) The core gameplay.
If you learn everything there is to know about SF4, you will essentially have the basic mechanics to ride (training wheels and all) into any other fighting game. That says something for its design.

2.) Netplay.
Hey, remember when you used to need friends? Guess what? Now you can be a complete dick in perfect anonymity with netplay for street fightuh! Play all night if you want! Your new friends will never leave you ever.

3.) The cast of characters.

There are a hell of a lot of people to choose from in this game. From the racist black DJ (maracas and a crest clean smile? come on now...) to the mexican luchador that named all his special moves after freaking taco bell meals. QUESADILLA BOMB, BABY! You'll be able to find something you like here on, at the very least, a cosmetic level that suits the way you want to play.

4.) The move list

You'll find no super duper over the top combos here, and the special moves are all accessible to someone that doesn't know what a QCF is. There is also every type of special move in this game from double input, to charge, to 360's, to fireballs, to SHORRRRYUKEN.

The game is functional. It serves its purpose as an evening of fun for a bunch of bros that like to shoot fireballs at each other until one of them flips a table over, but...

The cons:

1.) The core... friggen... gameplay
Okay. Lets just get this out of the way really quick. I am going to list the mechanics that EVERY complete fighting game has, and then the ones that street fighter has.

Street Fightdurp first -In street fighter... you can strike with multiple strengths, do special moves with multiple strengths, do super special moves, jump, jump attack, throw, command throw, dash forward, dash backward, soft parry, counter, throw block/counter, block, overhead hit, trip, soft roman cancel, and taunt like a dick.

Now for the most part, every other fighter in existence has those mechanics (which is why I said that learning these mechanics are a gateway). But ON TOP of that, in order to make their games balanced, other fighters have a combination of - hard parry, instant block, air dash left, air dash right, super jump, a burst system/combo break system, roman cancels, a block gauge/super block, chip damage from normal attacks, ground tech left, ground tech right, ground tech up, air tech, and air block. ON TOP of everything else, they have these. That's not including the in game strategy that comes with having these mechanics and a more complex move set.

I can almost hear you thinking: "Hey bro, 3rd strike was the best fighter ever, they had parry, you can't say that stuff about ALL street fighters". Ok. A.) Yes I can because parry is just a retarded excuse not to have an air block. B.) 3rd strike was the most unbalanced piece of crap ever, and the ONLY reason you see people winning tournaments outside of tiers is because the game has been around for 10 freaking years, and C.) 3rd strike STILL lacked all the other mechanics that make sf4 a bland fighter.

At its very heart, street fighter has watered down every single character by not giving them the complex universal mechanics that allow them to do interesting things. Your standard combo is going to be jump attack, heavy attack/link, special move, and maybe finish with a super. That's it until you're at Daigo's level (and even then it's mostly the same). Literally every character has these as their core combos. Their CORE combos. Every character. The soft roman cancel from focus attacks barely mixes this up because you can't use it to interrupt 100% of the moves that are inputted. This is one of the main reasons that this game suffers.

2.) NETPLAAAAAAAY
Ok, so you now no longer need friends in order to enjoy fighting games.....Huzzah!
But oh, you need a pretty freaking awesome internet connection. Oh you have one? That's awesome, but when I mean YOU need a pretty awesome internet connection, I mean that your OPPONENT does as well. Also, did I mention that your new internet friends are dicks?

Now, I will be the first to admit that net-coding is a skill that I don't and will most likely never have. You might as well tell me it's magic and that the internet stork hands down baby connections to lonely nerds and nerdettes. BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A GENIUS TO SEE HOW TERRIBLE THIS GAME'S LAG IS.

As with any genre of gaming that uses the internet as a medium for multiplayer, lag is an issue. No one is arguing that... but netplay with fighting games is a little different when it comes to affecting gameplay. With shooters or rts games lag usually results in a few extra bullets out of your semi-automatic gun not coming out properly, or your game pausing for a few seconds while the other person reconnects during a zergling rush. This means that 2 out of your 150,000 bullets didn't enter your opponents head... or they did and you just didn't see them. With fighting games however, this messes with the inputs and timing that are inherently key to the gameplay.

So picture this: your character has an excellent opportunity to finish his opponent after he whiffs a move. Your finishing move input is back forward back forward punch. However, you are lagging so instead of that killing move you get - back LAG back LAG punch. This happened in a split second, but the game only read 3 inputs instead of 5. So instead of killing the guy, you dash back and throw a right hook like a chump. GG internet.

3.) The cast of characters (from A to D!)

Contrary to popular belief, the cast of street fighturr is actually not as big as it seems. It boasts 39 characters in total, but in reality there are only 4. There are shotos, charge characters, losers, and Yun. That's it.

But Pach, whatever do you mean? I've seen people winning big tournaments with a wide variety of characters! I've seen some sweet YouTube vids with Hakan players punking bitches!

First of all, no you haven't you dirty liar. Second of all, I'm talking about true variety here. Every single solitary character in SF4 falls into one of these 4 categories:

Shoto - Character with a variation of (or literal duplicate of) Ryu's fireball, like-some-pound-cake swirly kick, and SHORYUUUUUKEN.

Charge Characters - Those who have a move set that requires one to "charge" the input by holding it in a specific direction (usually back to forward, or down to up).

Losers - Everyone who isn't in the above 2 categories, who has a different strategic focus (such as grapplers), or who just can't come out on top no matter how they try.

Yun - Remember that movie about the one ring to rule them all? Yun is the ring of power if Frodo got stabbed by Sam halfway through the second movie.

But in all seriousness... not only do the characters of this game lack any actual variety, they are incredibly imbalanced. At EVO2011, many tried to claim that Yun isn't as overpowered as people originally thought because he didn't come in 1st. However, the ENTIRE top 20 roster was filled with characters from the S and A tier lists which still amounts to about 4-5 characters (out of 39). So regardless of who managed to shoryuken and FADC Ultra their way to the top spot, the balance of the game hasn't been seriously addressed since its release in 2008. The 2012 update may drop Yun from top tier to A tier, but that still doesn't change the fact that this game has terrible character design overall.

4.) Eht evom tsil...

Er... crap sorry I got AUTOCORRECTED for readers who are reading from right to left. If that went right over your head, don't worry about it (but I don't know why you're reading this post). It basically means that if you do a super move (and even some specials) from the move list in SF4, the game will AUTOMATICALLY adjust your character so that they attack directly where your opponent is at the time the move comes out, regardless of the opponent's positioning from left to right on the screen. A concept which is so unfathomably ridiculous that I have trouble typing it without hurling my keyboard across the room.

But that aside, lets talk about priorities for a minute here. No, I'm not talking about why you're reading a blog right now instead of contributing to society you selfish jerk, I'm talking about special move priorities!

To put it simply: in the rock/paper/scissors of fighting games, there are a lot of special moves that rank under the "shotgun firing vibranium buckshot" category. These special moves are spammable, mashable, and totally designed to make you feel like a pro when really you've just learned how to piss people off.

Picture this: You weigh 500 lbs because you're made of muscle hardened by many years of bear wrestling and surviving direct contact with tornadoes. For whatever reason, that skank in a skirt that's barely pushing a buck ten on the scale wants to fight with you. So you decide you're going to dash at her with your arms in the air, grab her, and slam her on her tiny, non-tornado hardened head. Her response? A simple sidekick. To put things in perspective this is like throwing a baseball at the side of a building to try and stop it from falling on you. But for some reason... the sidekick works! You're hurt! Jesus god you're hurt! THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE! Was that a shotgun she just hit you with?! Oh god make it stop!

You've just experienced a classic example of SF4 special move priority!

5.) Capcom

Since 2008, Capcom has released 3 editions of SF4, about 6-15 costume packs, and a metric

ton of downloadable videos and content. Each and every edition of the game needed to be bought

over again for between 15-40 dollars, and every costume pack ranged from 5-15 dollars. Patches

released to seriously re-balance the game? One. Two if you include the one to be released in 2012.

Why? Because they want to take all of your money and put it into a giant machine that will blow

up the rebel base on Alderon.... and because we let them do it.

The Bottom Line:

With the success of SF3:3rd Strike, Capcom got a blank check from fans to do whatever the

hell they wanted in SF4 knowing that we would buy it regardless. And in classic battered

housewife fashion, we came back for the 2nd edition, and the 3rd edition, and we will be back

again in 2012 for the update. Why? Because the game is deep and it brings in new users to

our paltry fanbase? No. It's because we assumed the first time he smashed our fine dinner china

was because we didn't cook his steak the way he likes it... and that he really loves us no matter

what our jealous friends might say.

Capcom released this game 10 years after the success of 3rd strike, and with some clever

marketing and advertising managed to get the game into every home that had a street fighter fan

in it. The introduction of netplay kept the old players, and allowed new players a cost effective

way to get better outside the arcades. But other than that they did nothing new with this game,

simply flashing up some old mechanics with new art styles and a few new characters. Innovation is

what we should have gotten with SF4, not a throwback to our childhoods.

We deserved better.

Review: Battle Field 3 (360 Version)

I know everyone has been ranting and raving about Battlefield 3, but I personally find the game to have more than its fair share of flaws.  I'm not one to add a lot of fluff when I don't need to, so I'll get right into the facts. 

(1)  The game has good graphics (but not great), with the exception of cut scenes. The truth is that it's a bit of a bait and switch.  We were told it would have fantastic graphics and a download option to make the graphics even better, but in small print it should say “only for cut scenes”. The cut scenes look amazing, but we also don’t play in cut scenes (a lot of Final Fantasy fans just got a little sad when I said that). The actual gameplay graphics are otherwise murky, and at times just downright muddled by the lighting.  There’s also way too much shrubbery - I feel like I’m trapped in a bad Monty Python film the whole time.  To make matters worse, all the guns in the game look alike.  They may be very nicely detailed and unique on the selection screen, but on the ground or in someone’s hands: it’s just another mundane gun.

If only the whole game looked this awesome.

(2)  The single player game is essentially identical to the multiplayer.  It really feels like it was tacked on right before release so that the game didn't have to go without a single player campaign. The biggest complaint I have in comparing the single player to the multiplayer is that it plays so much faster that when you eventually switch over, it feels like you’re moving in mud. Somehow this slow drag down of game is called a strategic shooter, look people you can have strategy and speed in a game just look at almost any other shooter on the market.  The single player forces you to move from one point on the map to another point, flip a switch, run to a car, shoot something down.  It really feels like a poor man’s Modern Warfare 2, except it's not  innovative at all.

(3)  I’m going revisit the slowness of the multiplayer because it really is that slow.  Compared to HALO, Gears of War, and Modern Warfare, this game is akin to riding an iceberg.  In general, I like my games on the slower side.  However, when camping out in a small area for an entire game lands you 8 kills, 4 assists (for spotting players), 4 deaths, and puts you on top for your team that match, there's a problem. In any of the games I mentioned above, those numbers would generally net you a nice, cozy spot in last place, before you become branded as a noob and immediately get booted out of the game. Having said that, I can see why people like it.  If I died over and over in a game I wouldn’t have a good time either, but when I can fall asleep during a match and still have an impact, then it’s boring.

This is that sniper who had the top score on your team.

(4)  It’s an easy game to transition into for a PC gamer, since anyone can hop right in and actually contribute. Most of you may be aware that consoles have taken over and that the majority of PC games are now ports. With that being said, this game is a perfect game for the average PC gamer to cut their teeth on without immediately hating their life. Because the pace is so slow, they won’t miss their mouse too much.  Most of the other commands are easy enough to use that they won’t feel overwhelmed. The look speed is easy to change, and can be made to work for most people trying to make that jump, not that I would recommend doing so with this game.

(5) and (6) Vehicles and the teamwork emphasis. The game certainly does have vehicles that you can ride around in and shoot from, with the help of a teammate. These include the typical land vehicles but add in choppers and jet planes that sometimes really spice up the game play.  The bad part:  This only works well with a intelligent teammate and coordination.  Without talking to your teammate and attempting to coordinate your actions, the air vehicles might as well not even be here, with how unwieldy and ineffective they can be.  In the majority of the games I played, my teammates barely talked and instead liked to send me careening off cliffs in a tank or burning in flames after crashing a chopper while I was on board. I felt like this video summed it up for me.

Relevant.

(7)  Possibly the most important thing to remember about this game is that it has sold millions and is played by millions. Also, like any EA game, if it didn’t make money they wouldn’t sell it. They, like every other publisher, are in it to get paid - but that’s another story all together.  The modes they have implemented into the multiplayer are all designed to accommodate large number of players and the maps are some of the largest in any multiplayer game, ever.  Those two things do make it a stand out title for the market that it's in. It also helps out those campers that get those crappy numbers from hiding the whole time waiting for someone to walk by instead of actually moving around (you know who you are).

Oh sorry, wrong camper.

Final Verdict:  I’d give this game a personal score of 5/10.  I say personal because I have personally had a bad experience that made me want to take my controller shove it up my own rectum and see if that made for a better game.  I know I’m not in the majority of people who dislike this game because I know several people who love it.  I have since disowned most of these lost souls, but I understand their points. I would recommend this game to anyone who has a 360 and feels the need to play SOCOM and drag out games that sometimes last so long that you actually begin to crave that annoying cheese known as the Modern Warfare 2 nuke. I know there’s a big debate as to which game is better MW3 or BF3 but I honestly couldn't care less.  The fact is that they are two completely different games, and they really cater to two different markets.  There’s really no comparison. Eventually our kids will be having the same debate, and that’ll be with MW30 and BF30 - so I guess I’ll leave that for them to figure out.

PETA Speaks Out Against Mario's Tanuki Suit

A friend of mine recently linked me this article, and I was honestly astounded.  I'm sure some of you have already heard about this, but for those that aren't interested in reading the linked article (and would rather read my article), PETA has released statements criticizing Nintendo for adding the Tanuki Suit to the recently released Super Mario 3D Land.  Yes, they are upset about the suit originally seen in Super Mario Bros. 3 that allowed Mario to fly and turn into a stone statue.   To be honest, there are times when I can somewhat empathize with PETA.  Their crusade for animal rights normally doesn't garner much of a reaction from me (outside of a raised eyebrow), but this is just too silly to pass up.  For an organization that is already a punchline in most circles, you might have assumed that they would have thought this through a little more before they released public statements.  Rational thought goes out the window when PETA smells headlines, apparently.

Mario, the very embodiment of animal cruelty.

First of all, PETA is a little late to the party on this one, 23 years late to be exact.  I'm guessing that members of PETA didn't have the NES growing up, because they never saw fit to protest the game that first featured the suit.  Either way, releasing statements about an item originally introduced 23 years ago is not the best plan in the world, primarily because it only serves to make the organization look completely ridiculous.  It's almost as if someone bought the game upon release, saw the suit, and immediately thought to themselves: "This is my chance, now I can truly make a difference!" I understand that PETA is trying to save the Tanukis, but they're really going about it the wrong way, undermining their own cause in the process.  If Japanese raccoons are continually being harvested for their fur, I'm pretty sure it's because the trappers are desperate for money, not because they want to give people the ability to fly and turn to stone on a whim.  I'm also fairly confident that the fur trade existed WAY before Mario come to be.  Just a thought.

This attack on Nintendo also makes no attempt to be relatable to the average gamer, which also happens to be PETA's intended target.  It's almost a slap in the face when their Executive Vice President, Tracy Reiman, says things like "This winter, everyone can give raccoon dogs and other fabulous animals a 1-UP by keeping our wardrobes fur-free." I know what you're thinking:  "She used the phrase '1-UP'!  She totally understands me as a gamer!" Yes, I feel the same way.  It's really too bad that she doesn't seem to realize that giving them a 1-UP would imply that they would come back to life after we killed them.  Zombie Tanukis, anyone?

Another thing that bothers me about this is that Mario isn't exactly running around killing Tanukis in his COMPLETELY REALISTIC world.  He hits question mark boxes with his head and a feather pops out that instantly gives him the suit.  How does Mario know where the magical feather came from, or even what it does?  He runs around throwing fire balls at giant, angry, mullet-wearing turtle kings that have a knack for kidnapping his girlfriend.  In Mario's world, you just have to accept the fact that some really crazy stuff is going on, and take help where you can find it.  Questioning the ethical implications of a suit is not on the top of Mario's to-do list when he's under siege by plumber-seeking bullet-men and man-eating plants.

Mario World is identical to the streets of Detroit.
The only difference being that Detroit has WAY more magic mushrooms.  

From what I can tell, the Tanukis referred to by the game are also mythical creatures that do not actually exist outside of Japanese folklore, not the raccoon dogs that PETA is trying to save.  Since these mythical creatures are not real, wouldn't that imply that Mario could just as likely be wearing fake fur, blessed by the raccoon gods?  If anything, Mario is paying homage to his furry protectors!  Perhaps PETA should start an alliance with everyone's favorite mustachioed plumber, instead of criticizing his choice of wardrobe.  You know what?  I'll even let PETA use my alliance idea without crediting me, simply because I'm feeling generous.  You're welcome, PETA.

When it really comes down to it, what's with all this protesting for the Tanukis anyways?  We all know who the real victim is in all the Mario games.  That's right: Bowser.  I don't see PETA protesting the continual destruction of Bowser's property, the systematic elimination of all of his children, or his inevitable beat-down at the end of nearly every single Mario game.  Bowser has been thrown into lava, set on fire, drowned, and beaten to a pulp more times than anyone should ever be able to count, and yet he carries on.  Bowser has been on the receiving end of so much punishment, that I seriously question how he still maintains the will to keep on fighting.  My theory?  Either the Koopa King is a masochist, or Princess Peach must have something pretty awesome going on underneath that pink dress (even gargantuan, spiky Turtle Warlords need love).  We may never truly know.

Mario, Bowser, and other references to Nintendo franchises are the property of Nintendo.

Pach's Real Talk: Dark Souls

Pachbel's posts are rated T for Teen.

Greetings gamers! Are you so excited that Skyrim just came out because you love RPGs? Super confident in yourself because back when you were a kid you 100% completed Final Fantasy 7, and that made you hardcore because there were no achievements? Feeling good about yourself because you have been able to successfully seduce members of the opposite sex? WELL NONE OF THAT MATTERS BECAUSE DARK SOULS DOESNT CARE.

Real talk.

Now I know what a lot of you may have heard about this game along with Demon Souls (the huggable predecessor)... and with this write-up I aim to bring everything to light. Don't worry people, Pachbel is here for you... Dark Souls isn't... but Pachbel is.

First and foremost is the issue with difficulty: Perhaps you have heard that this game is hard from several other, less attractive sources? Well I'm here to tell you that that is 100% incorrect.

Dark Souls isn't hard... you are simply WEAK. Now wait... wait... put that itchy forum finger down and hear me out. Come back. That's it...just sit on down and relax. Can I get you anything? No, I'm out of coffee you arrogant punk...

You aren't weak, because you've handled hard games before right? You're different because you played Street Fighter 2 back when it was hardcore. You did a speed run of Megaman 3. You beat Earthbound without a strategy guide. You're going to conquer this game! So lets talk mechanics shall we?

As of this post I've played through the game twice, with two characters that haven't used a drop of magic (more on that momentarily). So take it from me that the game has a combat system that can (and will) have you awaken one night screaming in a cold sweat. It is not so much complex as it is unforgiving, and yet beautifully addicting all at the same time. You basically have attack, heavy attack, and a variation on attack and heavy attack based on what weapon you're using. For the most part this consists of a Leonidus chest kick, and a D2 remniscent leap attack.

That's it. No perks, no upgrades, no super powers. It's you, your balls, and your stat counting. The enemies are very diverse, and you are equipped with only those 4 moves the entire game to make it work. Now don't get me wrong... I loved every minute of it because winning with those 4 moves makes you feel like a man... but be warned that it isn't a picnic.

So that leaves the other two mechanics: Magic and Defense. Lets start with defense... you can roll. Alright moving on.

No but seriously that's about it. Rolling makes you invulnerable temporarily and lets you avoid attacks that you can't block without excessive amounts of endurance and chest hair. And forget about sampling heavy armor with your freshly baked rolls. Wearing heavy armor without massive amounts of endurance will change your character animation from rolling to belly flopping on the ground and stumbling to your feet like a cancer patient that just got pushed down some stairs. Come to think of it... the invulnerability is also a bit finnicky but it'll work most of the time... promise.

You may also parry and block if you have a shield (which you should) in your off hand. However unless you're deflecting attacks from only 1 enemy at a time that isn't firing maggots and flaming dogs at you (oh just wait until the enemies section), you'll have to rely on terrain and good timing to keep yourself alive.

So thus far to keep you alive we have 4 simple attacks... and essentially defense that relies on you not getting hit ever to bring you through the game. Oh good.

But don't fear because this next part will be your salvation: MAGIC. I can't stress enough how important magic will be in your lonely crusade. The magic in Dark Souls has been redesigned from Demon Souls to make it more accessable and useful for any and all classes. There now exists no mana bar, but rather a "charge" system that gives you a fixed amount of uses per spell per equip. It's definitely an improvement from what came before it. So with that in mind: you don't have to be like me! Pick up soul arrows, pick up lightning bolts and fireballs... they're about the only thing in this game that evens the playing field even a little bit. It's also important to mention that at times the camera placement options in the game can be abysmal, and that it will get you killed, so you need all the help that you can get.

Overall the mechanics in this game are designed in a simple way and left in your hands to squeeze every last drop of utility out of. Which definitely isn't a bad thing... but if you're used to a game giving you a ramping effect when it comes to special abilities, think again about picking this up.

And speaking of ramping... arguably the most difficult part of the game is how you actually progress as a character.

So picture this: you're in a crowded New York subway station just waiting for the B-train, enjoying life, feeling good. Then all of a sudden a crazed hobo runs up, shivs you in the back, and takes your wallet a la White-Power Bill. You think "OH GOD I'M BLEEDING! MY WALLET!" but no one seems to be helping you. Then when you try to pursue the man with your wallet, the rest of the people in the subway pull out knives and try to stop you. That is what it means to progress from one stat point to the next in Dark Souls.

Everything in the game is (duh) about souls. Souls are your currency, your experience, and your e-penis all at the very same time. But that's not the bad part. Every time you die... and I mean EVERY time you die... you lose ALL the souls you are carrying. Now that wouldn't be so bad if you could store souls in your personal inventory elsewhere, but you can't. So essentially the game will steal experience from you each and every time you die unless you can make it to a checkpoint to cash in. Sound like archaic game design? It is. But the Dark Souls creators swear by it as simply another challenge to be overcome... and admittedly it does feel good when you do.

However, next to the pvp (which I will touch on later), nothing will make you want to punch a baby more than dying with a large coin purse full of precious, precious souls. You WILL have one chance to get your souls back after you have died... but that's to fight your way back to the spot you died and touch the blood stain where your character last passed on. This is a core element to the game which over time you get used to, but is still a real pain to deal with (especially when trying to fight a boss).

Now lets talk about quality of life. There are NO... I repeat NO maps in this game. I have literally spent hours wandering in the wrong direction, with no indication that I was heading that way before consulting the online guides. Is this bad game design? You betcha, but will you still play it in spite of that? Absolutely... because you're not weak, right? Thought so.

But seriously, be prepared to consult the glorious dark souls wiki every step of the way if you want to move through this game even somewhat smoothly. The lack of information that is presented to the players on even item tooltips is absolutely maddening. In this humble blogger's opinion, not having information in a game where even HAVING the information hardly makes a difference in your success/failure is poor design. Just point me in the appropriate direction of the murder and suicide please. Don't make me look it up. That's like forcing me to do push-ups just to get my ps3 to turn on.

In addition to the lack of information, there is no save function to the game other than the inherent auto-save. There is a checkpoint system (represented by bonfires happily placed in the most dangerous and out of the way places of the game), but they are few and far between. Success depends on your ability to memorize enemy patterns and game data to proceed quickly in between the plethora of deaths. Is this fun? Well... I would have to say not at first. However, because the game is one large open world you definitely feel like master of your domain once you've progressed from one area to the next. The repetition lets you really study and appreciate every last detail of the beautifully rendered dark souls world, and that isn't a bad thing once you get into the patterns of each individual level. By the end of the first area, with the constant "you make a mistake, you die, you start over", you'll definitely feel like a dog with a shock collar with an owner who didn't take their Prozac on time. But once your senses stop assuming that the game is going to take it easy on you, you'll start to adapt. And this is where Dark Souls truly begins to shine as a game.

Lets talk enemies and levels.

The best part about your first playthrough of Dark Souls will be you marveling at how different, complex, and engrossing the enemy design is. You'll find yourself super excited to see how the bad man is going to touch you next with every single new enemy and area you encounter. It really becomes about you conquering an entire race of ingame enemies rather than mindlessly hacking at each creature the same way until it dies. Each level is incredibly diverse, and is covered from head to toe in traps and interesting secrets. You will never feel like you've seen the same room, setup, or trap twice... well at least not until it kills you and you run by it again.

Now think about that for a second. I mean really think about it. How many games have you played where there are NO recycled areas or enemies, and that are a longer than a 4 hour play experience? I can only count them on one hand, and I'm better than you... so that says something.

And the boss battles, oh dear me the boss battles. Every single boss will require you to think outside the box to defeat, and every time you fight that boss the fight will be different from the last. This isn't your average "I have the hookshot so now I can beat the giant eyeball cluster" game. You're going to have to make it work with whatever you've got at your disposal to beat each and every boss.

Now this is where I'm supposed to talk about how the multiplayer is innovative and makes the bosses and enemies much more fun to move through, but I'm not going to do that. The multiplayer can be quite iffy at times, and while you may be blessed with an ally to assist you through a difficult boss battle now and again, for the most part you will be alone on your journey. I will say this though - not since I was a young teenager have I had the urge to hurl several valuable pieces of video game hardware out of an open window into a crowd of rabid monkeys... but when I was invaded by "Iloveboobs6602" and murdered just before a boss fight, I definitely found myself weighing the options of hunting that lonely nerd in real life like a Richard Connell novel. I digress.

The game is about the single player, and while it is fun to read peoples comments just before being murdered in the same way that they were murdered, the multiplayer is almost non-existant especially on a first playthrough.

So, to wrap things up:

You're weak. You know you're weak, because you've been playing oblivion and you think your RPG should be fun. Well that is why Dark Souls will eat you alive. If you die in this game it's because you suck and need to get better. The game designers have made that perfectly clear every step of the way and you ARE going to die...a lot. But you're going to have fun being repeatedly obliterated by the entire cast of silent hill while you run ill-equipped and ill-informed through a lonely world of pain and misery... and that's the weird part. You'll find yourself coming back for more each and every time because the game is just difficult enough to make you think "What if I tried this differently, what if I used this spell instead of that one." And at that point the game truly takes off for you.

With games that mercilessly challenge you becoming more and more infrequent these days, I would definitely recommend picking up a copy of dark souls for your miserable pleasure. There will definitely not be anything like it for quite some time.

Dark Souls is rated M for Blood and Gore, Partial Nudity, Violence, and the desire to tear your weak little heart out and run screaming into the night.